Progress
by IrishEyes2010
Summary: Bella jumps off the cliff. Jake's transformation is delayed, so Alice sees Jake pull her out of the water. Things take their natural progression for a while... AU, J/B
1. Wonderings

I've often wondered if I've done things right. If I should have made this choice instead of that. Where I would be now if I made that choice. Would there be a 'now'? I'm afraid of the world. I'm afraid of dying. I'm afraid of living. I'm afraid of going through life without having lived.

I inhale. The air is salty and fresh, and the waves below crash against the rocks with formidable force.

I inhale deeper. There's a storm on the horizon, and I'm suddenly terrified. And exhilarated.

I swallow my scream and jump into the crashing waves below.

The rushing nothingness that fills my ears is pure bliss, and I'm weightless. It's beautiful, and I'm at peace for the first time since he left. I can breathe for the first time since he left. I'm free.

I hit the water feet first, and I immediately realize how foolish I've been. I feel the sensation of a thousand cold, steely knives all over, and my body immediately tenses. I fight for the surface and break free.

Then the next wave hits. And the next. And the next. I can't breathe. I'm fighting and fighting, but to no avail. And the next. I can't break free. And the next.

I start to sink. I'm fighting, but I'm not strong enough.

This living, this living, this living was never a hobby of mine.


	2. The Surface

There's a time when you have to just take the plunge, so I did.

Watching Bella walk off the cliff was the most eerie, horrifying thing I will ever see. She didn't even scream.

I was running late. We were supposed to meet at my house, but I got held up with Quil. Embry was acting weird, and he was freaking out about it. To be honest, I was, too. I was starting to think Sam Uley was getting to him.

When Dad told me that she had stopped by, I immediately went to the First Beach. She wasn't there. I headed back, thinking I'd missed her, but saw a glimpse of her ancient red Chevy. I pulled in next to her and got out of the car. She had to be by the cliffs. When I broke through the trees, I saw her standing there, just thinking. She was frowning, but then seemed to make up her mind about something. Before I could move any further, she took a step forward and simply dropped off the earth.

I ran to the edge, reaching it in time to see her break the surface and take a deep breath, smiling. But then the waves just kept coming. And coming. And coming. Suddenly, she stopped surfacing. So, I jumped in after her. I'm such a fool.

The water was freezing, but I expected that. I doubt she did. I broke through the surface of the water and opened my eyes, adjusting. She was still fighting, but I could see her body giving out. It was so cold.

I swam to her and fought for both of us to reach the surface. The waves kept coming, but I was determined. She would be fine. We would be fine. I hadn't worked with her for the last six months just for it all to end here.

We made it to the beach, and I collapsed with her in my arms. When she didn't stir, everything from health class just kicked in. I placed my hands over her chest and began doing compressions, trying to force the water out of her lungs. I placed my mouth over hers and ignored the tingling sensation it brought to my lips. Now was not the time for such things. _There would be time later_, I reasoned. There had to be time.

Compressions again. Breath. Compressions. Breath. Cough. _Thank God_.

She coughed and coughed, and it was all I could do not to hug her. Instead, I sat back and watched her force the salty sea water out of her lungs.

"Bells, what the hell were you thinking?" I asked. "You could have died."

She didn't answer, just shook her head.

"Bells, please," I begged.

"I was free."

My brain just shut down. I'm going deaf. _Something_. I'm sure of it. Something must have gone wrong inside my head. I couldn't be hearing this. "Free? You stopped breathing."

"Well, that wasn't my intention. Obviously."

You've got to be kidding me. "Obviously? You just walked off a cliff."

"I was cliff diving. We were supposed to go, remember? You got busy." I got tired of waiting. I just wanted to be free."

"Cliff diving?" So foolish. I rolled onto my back, unable to look at her. "You almost died. I almost lost you. I thought you were trying to - I thought you were gone."

"I would never... I'm so sorry."

I stole a look at her. Her dark hair was full of sand, and her lips were blue from the cold. I'm sure I looked the same. "Let's just go."

I pulled her to her feet, keeping one hand in mine. I was so angry with her, but this was too close. Too damn close.

We didn't say a word the whole way to our cars. She started towards her truck, but I pulled her toward the Rabbit. "You drowned."

"No I didn't."

"You stopped breathing. Ergo, you're not driving. We'll pick up your car later."

We got into the Rabbit and I drove her to my house. I stole several glances at her. She looked like a drowned rat. A very pale, drowned rat. I blasted the heater the whole way, much to my car's dismay. It groaned the whole way home. It needed some work.

"What did you mean by free?"

She stared at me for a moment. "I guess I finally realized it was time to move on. I - He's not coming back. I'm done with not..." she sighed, "living."

I stared at the road the rest of the way home.

When we walked in the door, there was a note from my dad on the table.

"Harry's had a heart attack," I told her, my eyes never leaving the note. "We're to stay here."

"Both of us? What about Charlie?"

"He and my dad are with Sue. We're to stay here," I repeated, sinking into a chair. "Harry's gone."

She shivered and did the same. Harry, my dad and Charlie had been inseparable for as long as I could remember. He was always around to help with my dad in case I couldn't.

"I feel like I should be doing something," she whispered, shivering again.

I frowned. "Yes, you should be. Putting on something warm that is."

Gesturing for her to follow, I walked back to my room and rummaged through my dress, finally pulling out a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. "You can shower first."

"You sure?" she asked, taking the clothes.

I nodded. "I'm gonna clean up out here while I wait, scrounge for food."

She nodded and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. I heard the shower turn on and the curtain rings slide across the bar as she got in. Groaning and returning to my place by the chair, I suddenly felt so tired, and wondered what would have happened if I hadn't seen her truck when I did.

I couldn't focus on these things. She was okay, and she said she'd never do anything like what happened today on purpose. My hands were shaking when I wiped my eyes.

I settled for cleaning the kitchen. The work was mindless, but she'd appreciate a clean surface when she got out. I put on a pot of coffee. I hated the stuff, but she didn't. I put the cream and sugar on the counter before I headed back to my room.

I hadn't heard the shower turn off. Or the door open. Or her walk into my room. I hadn't heard a thing.

But I saw everything as I opened the door. The gentle curve of her back. The way her underwear clung to her bottom, which looked so tight and so _soft_. The way her hair curled when it was wet. The bead of water that inched its way down her very bare back. I shut the door before she turned.

"Jake?"

Shit. "Yeah?"

"Uh, I'll be out in a second."

"Sure, sure."

_Oh, how I wished I was that bead of water_.

She opened the door moments later, her face beet red. "Your turn."

"Sorry."

She shrugged. "How much did you see?"

"A bit, but its nothing for you to lose sleep over. I shut the door right away."

She nodded. "Food?"

"Pizza sound good?"

"Sure."

I nodded. "Order the usual. I've got coffee on."

The bathroom was hot and foggy. I see why she didn't change in here. _Thank you, house, for being so old there's not a vent in the bathroom. Thank you, thank you, thank you_.

The house smelled like pepperoni and cheese when I got out. Dad and Charlie had brought over pizza while I was in the shower.

"We saved you a few pieces," Bella said, smiling softly.

I grinned back and she blushed furiously.

Charlie frowned, looking between us. "We miss something?"

"Yes," Bella replied, "but I'm not filling you in."

He raised an eyebrow. "Jake?"

"And neither is he."

I raised my hands in surrender. "Aye aye, captain."

Dad just chuckled. "I have a feeling we don't want to know, Charlie."

"I'm beginning to get that impression."

Instead of responding, I stuffed half a piece of pizza in my mouth.

"Lovely, son. That's quite attractive."

I smiled, mouth full of pizza.

We settled into silence for a bit.

"How's Sue?"

Dad stared at Bella. "I think she'll be okay. She's a tough woman, Sue. She'll be fine."

"And Seth and Leah? I remember them from when I was younger. It's been a long time."

Now Charlie was staring, too. It had been a while since she'd volunteered to have a conversation with anyone aside from me.

"They're okay kids," Dad replied. "They're tough like both of their parents. Especially Leah. Seth's still young, so I'm worried about him. He's been a happy kid, though. This is going to be tough for them..."

Bella nodded, chewing thoughtfully on her pizza.

"I think my clothes are dry. I'll be back."

Sure enough, she showed up moments later looking much warmer in her jeans and flannel shirt, her hair mostly dry. It was curly in its dampness. So gorgeous. _Eyes down, Black. Eyes down_.

"We ought to go, Bells," Charlie said. "I gotta get up early."

She nodded, stifling a yawn. "Probably a good idea."

"Can I come pick you up in the morning?"

"Sure, sure," she replied. I fought back a grin. Unsuccessfully. "Whatcha wanna do?"

"Just hang." I looked back to see my dad and Charlie chatting quietly. "Grab your stuff and I'll walk you outside."

She nodded, then frowned. _Truck_, she mouthed.

Ah. I nodded at the door.

"I'll meet you outside," Charlie called over his shoulder.

I walked her out to the cruiser, my hand at the small of her back. Her cheeks were tinged pink ever so slightly.

"Relax," I told her. "I didn't see much, but what I did see was quite nice."

The slight pink became a full-on red.

"Jacob Ephraim Black!" she whispered, smacking me on the shoulder. "I can't believe you."

I chuckled. "Just speaking the truth, Bells."

She hid her face in her hands, shaking her head. I chuckled again. Grabbing her wrists, I pulled them down gently to see her grinning.

"I'm so mortified," she said.

"What's with the grin, then?"

"Not sure what else to do."

I laughed. "It's not a big deal. Again, it's nothing for you to lose sleep over?"

"What about you?"

"Me?"

"Yeah, you. Who else? Are you gonna lose sleep?"

I looked her directly in the eye. "Absolutely, but that doesn't mean you should. Believe me, you've got nothing to be embarrassed about. _Nothing_."

She dropped her gaze to somewhere around her shoes.

Placing my fingers under her chin, I lifted her gaze back to mine. "_Nothing_."

She sighed deeply.

And I just stared. This was the moment I'd been waiting for. She looked so beautiful and all I wanted to do was just lay it all on the line and kiss her. It was perfect. Except for both of our dads being just inside.

I wanted our first kiss, should we ever get it, to be perfect and unhurried. It should be simple and innocent. What I had seen tonight was anything but, and I doubted that she'd think otherwise. Not to mention, I was in the friend zone still, though I was inching my way out of it. Too fast and I'd be her pervy, younger friend with way too big of a crush. _Slow and steady wins the race_, I reminded myself.

So I dropped my hand from her chin and gave her a soft smile. Then she frowned in a way that was almost a pout. She was disappointed. _Good_. She seemed to want it, too. _Slow and steady_.

Unable to resist, I pulled her in for a hug, kissing her hair. "See you in the morning, Bells."

* * *

><p>So... yeah, new story. For those of you who've stuck around, thank you. I wanted to continue the old ones, but they just felt lacking. I've already got the next three chapters finished. Time to edit :)<p>

I look forward to reading whatever reviews you'd like to send my way. I'm publishing regardless, but they're exciting to get nonetheless :)


	3. Decisions

Jacob scared me sometimes. I never feared for my life, but I did fear for my heart. After all, they weren't the same. I knew he'd never hurt me, but there were some days when I thought I'd hurt him. Tonight was one of those nights.

I honestly thought he was going to kiss me, but he dropped his hand, seemingly changing his mind. Part of me was glad.

Then he hugged me, same as always, and kissed my hair, not the same as always. My heart thumped erratically in spite of my brain's wonderings. I was thinking too much.

He was so kind and warm. And suddenly so very handsome. Strikingly so. Something had happened over the last couple of weeks. When I brought the bikes over, he still had that boyish look to him. The Jacob whose eyes bore into mine tonight was so different. He was taller and stronger. His muscles, particularly in his arms and shoulders, were bigger and stronger, but with the lean elegance of a swimmer or a runner. His jaw now possessed a gloriously sharp angle that I didn't recall before. The Jacob who placed his hand under my chin and forced my eyes to meet his was more of a man than I had realized. I wasn't quite sure as to when or how that had happened.

He had changed, but so had I.

I wasn't the same girl that he - _Edward_ - had left all those months ago. That girl was gone, and she wasn't coming back. The wind that rushed in my ears as I dropped down towards the Pacific reminded me that nothing is forever. Like the wind, time is fleeting, and I'd let enough fly by. It was time to move on, I decided. However, the water that Jacob forced from my lungs reminded me that I'd gone too far. I couldn't believe that he'd saved me from myself again. What a fool I was. There was little time to waste.

Tomorrow, I'd begin to put the pieces back in place.

And I did, starting with an early breakfast with Charlie.

For the first time in ages, I think, I woke before him. Surveying the damage that we'd done to my well stocked pantry over the last few months, I began to realize some of the effects of my recent behavior. The pantry was essentially bare. Memories of the diner and pizza boxes flitted through my mind. I sighed. Charlie deserved better than what I'd given to him.

However, there were eggs and a box of pancake mix in the pantry. They seemed alright, so I whipped up a batch, placing the final product on the table just as Charlie walked down the stairs.

He stared at me, similar to the way he did at dinner last night. I stared back.

"Good morning, Bells."

"Good morning, Dad. Sleep well?"

"Uh huh, sure. You?"

I thought for a moment. With a smile, I realized that last night was one of the first nights that I'd not had a nightmare. Edward was gone, and I was fine. "Yeah, I did. Now, eat up before your eggs get cold."

After we ate, I poured each of us a cup of coffee. He read the paper, and I made a grocery list.

"The kitchen is in a sad state, so I'm going to the store. Any requests?"

Charlie put the paper down and stared at me again. He sighed. "Are you okay, kiddo?"

"Yeah, I am. I - " I swallowed and offered him a half smile. "I'm really sorry, Dad."

He looked down and smoothed out the sports section. "It was never you I was mad at."

I fought back tears. "How about pot roast?"

"Sounds great. Take my card."

"Okay. You want stuff for sandwiches?"

"Yeah. Get some fruit and veggies, too. Harry's heart attack made me nervous. He's not - he _wasn't_ too much older than me."

I frowned. "We should both be eating better than we have anyways. I'll get some raw spinach or something for salads. We could both use the green."

"Okay. I'm getting you a cell phone today, too. I didn't like not being able to get a hold of you yesterday. I don't care that Billy knew where you'd be. I didn't. That's not cool, kid."

I nodded. "Nothing fancy. I only need it for you and Renee."

He folded the paper. "What about Jake?"

I shrugged. "Maybe Jake, too."

"Uh huh," he replied, folding his paper and grabbing his wallet. "Here's my card. Grab whatever you want for the week. Since we ate with Billy and Jake yesterday, would you mind if I invited them over for pot roast tonight?"

"Not at all. Could be fun."

He headed out the door and I to the kitchen sink.

I gave the kitchen a good, thorough, top-to-bottom clean, which it desperately needed, and then made my way to the bathroom, also in an equally sorry state. I sighed. Never again would I neglect my dad this way.

Jake called at around 9:30 to let me know he was on his way. I surveyed the house for any obvious dirtiness and decided it was fine before running upstairs to get cleaned up.

I wasn't sure what to do about Jake. He was wonderful and honest and caring, but, frankly, he frightened me a little. It was _too_ easy with him. I felt like if I got swept up in him that the shoe would drop like it did with the Cullens. But wasn't that the point? To put yourself out there regardless of where the shoe was? Besides, Jake was a different shoe altogether. While a big part of me knew that he'd never do what they did, it was still at the back of my mind, and I knew it was all because of Edward.

Suddenly, I knew what I needed to do, and soon. I needed to move on, and I needed to get in touch with Angela and Jessica. Tomorrow. Besides, I'd neglected them as well. And I owed Jessica for the stupid stunt I pulled at the movie theater.

It was supposed to be warm outside, so I settled on a soft, brown peasant top and jeans. I sighed. This felt like a date sort of outfit. In that moment alone, I hated Alice for leaving more than ever. I fidgeted with the top, adjusting it until it clung the right way. My hair was another story. I just left it down. Nice and easy. Only the top would suggest any extra thought went into my outfit. It still felt date-like.

The doorbell rang, so I went downstairs. It was Jake, who at first glance seemed to be casual as well. A second look told me he had similar difficulties getting dressed this morning as well. He paired a black t-shirt with dark jeans, which seemed simple enough, but the belt and boots were things he never wore. It was usually a sneakers and no belt sort of thing for him. I fought back a grin.

"Hey, Bells. You ready to go?"

I nodded. "Sure thing. Let me grab my purse and Charlie's card."

He raised an eyebrow. "We going shopping?"

"I need to go to the grocery store. You can come with me if you like."

"Sure thing. What do we need?"

"Lots. I've got to restock the house... I've been slacking for a while. Time to fix that. It's long overdue. Plus, I'm making pot roast tonight."

His hand flew to his stomach. "Sounds delicious."

"Good," I teased. "You and Billy are invited."

He grinned widely. "Excellent. Let's get to it then."

We climbed in the Rabbit. "Store or truck?"

"Truck," I replied. "Let's go ahead and take care of that. As long as the roast is on by one we'll be fine."

He nodded. "Off we go."

The normally peaceful, quiet drive felt suffocating.

"We should turn on some music," I suggested.

He stared at me like I'd grown three extra heads.

"What?" I felt my cheeks burn.

"Sorry. I just thought you hated it."

Oh. "I did, but things are changing. Put on something good. Surprise me."

He nodded, taking it in. "Okay. I've already got something good in here."

He pressed the power button on his stereo, and a band I didn't recognize flooded the speakers.

"Who is this?"

"City and Colour. They're pretty chill."

I listened for a bit. "I like them. Acoustic is good."

He grinned. "Thought you might."

The rest of the drive was filled with the sounds of this new band filled that filled the speakers and the rush of wind from the open windows. It was perfect. Even the part when Jake took my hand in his. I didn't fight it for once and instead just let him go for it. And the world became a little less frightening.

He stiffened a little when we arrived at the cliff, but otherwise showed no reaction to yesterday's events. I had no regrets, save the part where I technically drowned and scared Jake. That part I wasn't okay with. Now was the time to fix things though.

He threw the Rabbit into park. "I can follow you to the grocery store, or we can drop off your truck. Which would you rather do?"

"Just follow, then we can just hang out for a bit at the house after I put the roast on."

He nodded. "Lunch?"

"We'll pick up something good at the store."

To say our grocery run was interesting is an understatement. It was probably the most fun I'd ever had running errands.

Jake pushing me around in the basket while I directed him around the aisles was probably the highlight. It was just silly and fun.

I bought bread for sandwiches and two baguettes to go with dinner; canned tomatoes and vegetables; several varieties of dry, whole wheat pasta; chicken stock, beef stock and vegetable stock; tons of pasta; romaine lettuce and raw spinach for salads; fresh tomatoes; red and green peppers; shiitake and button mushrooms; and lots of fruit. Plus, frozen lasagna and pizza for nights when Charlie was on his own. Not that there would be many. Then we hit the meat counter, and Jake's eyes lit up as I gave my orders to the deli case manager and butcher. I bought three kinds of lunch meat, plenty of cheese, a massive roast and three whole chickens.

"I think this is good for now." The basket was practically overflowing.

He just grinned. "You're amazing."

I blushed. "Sure, sure. Let's go."

The total wasn't entirely atrocious, but I saved the receipt for Charlie. He'd just be happy the kitchen would be stocked again and that we'd have regular, hot, wholesome meals on the table again. Yes, all would be good.

Jake loaded his trunk with the groceries and then followed me home. It took two trips each and the kitchen table was covered with food. When we went to put everything away, I had some trouble getting the fridge to shut. Charlie would be very happy indeed.

"What do you need me to do?" Jake asked, watching me start to prep the roast.

"Dice up the potatoes and mushrooms, then toss them in the slow cooker after I season the roast and set it in there."

We worked well together. He obviously knew his way around the kitchen, having helped take care of Billy for the last several years. The easiness of it all was a little unsettling. I pushed the feeling out of my mind and focused on the present. The present was good. Jake was good, not to mention good for me. He was different.

We made sandwiches for lunch, straightened up the kitchen and then settled down in the living room.

"Movie?" he asked.

"Sure thing. You pick."

He settled on _Raiders of the Lost Ark_, one of my and Charlie's favorites, before joining me on the couch and taking my hand in his. I think I surprised him when I intertwined our fingers, but he didn't question it. When Indy shot the big guy in the middle of the market, I found myself sinking into his side. Jake sighed happily, and I found myself grinning.

It wasn't until Indy found Marion in the tent that I realized that Jake was staring at me.

"What?" He was making me feel self conscious.

"You seem different today."

"Good different or bad different?"

"Good. Very good, actually. Is - is this because of yesterday?"

I sighed. "Yes, but not for reasons that you think. It's because I realized what a wreck I've been, and I'm making up for it. I'm feeling more like myself. When I jumped off the cliff - "

"Walked. You walked off the cliff."

"Oh. Well, it felt like a huge leap to me."

"Go on."

"Okay, when I jumped off of the cliff, I felt more free than I had in a long time. All of the bad just seemed to melt away. I'm glad I did it, but I still hate that I scared you. It wasn't my intention. Please know that, Jacob."

"I do," he relented, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "Just promise me you'll never do that ever again. At least not alone. I'll go with you if its something you really want to do."

I smiled. "I think it was a one-time thing, but I'll keep that in mind if I change my mind."

He nodded and returned his attention to the movie, placing his arm around my shoulders. "Love you, Bells."

I sank into his side and took a deep breath. He smelled good. "You, too, Jake."

When the movie ended, he turned to me, his arm still around my shoulders. "Want to watch another?"

I checked his watch - it was 3 o'clock. "Sure. It'll be a while before Charlie gets home anyways."

"You pick."

"Nope. Surprise me. Otherwise I'll throw on something British that Charlie can't stand and I know you'll completely hate."

"Say no more." He jumped up and swapped out the DVDs.

When _Sense and Sensibility_ came on, I just stared at him. "You sure?"

He nodded. "My sisters have this one. It's not so bad. I actually kind of like it."

I just went with it. It was one of my favorites. The parallels of the movie and my situation with Jake were not lost on me, nor him I'd bet. He just pulled me closer.

When I teared up, Jake noticed.

"Aw, Bells," he whispered, wiping them away. "Don't cry."

"I can't help it. This movie always does that to me."

He chuckled, and I adjusted to meet his eyes. "It's sweet, and you're adorable."

When his fingers brushed the stray hair out of my eyes, I felt him tense, like he was wondering whether he should have done so or not. It was in that single moment that I made my decision.


	4. Hesitations

She kissed me with lips that were warm and soft and slightly moist. My heart all but sang and tap danced out of my chest.

I was so confused. Did she or didn't she? This hot and cold business was so messed up.

"Bella, if this isn't - I mean, if you don't -"

She pressed a finger to my lips, effectively silencing any thoughts that may have remained in my head.

"I do. It took a while for me to figure it out, but I do."

I wasted no time.

My lips were on hers in a flash, and she was responding to me. Actually responding. To say I was shocked was quite possibly the understatement of the century. Still, something at the back of my mind told me I should wait. Then she opened her mouth and the tiniest sigh escaped before she kissed me again. Just like that, that little something went out the window.

My hands found themselves in her hair, which was so soft. She smelled amazing, like strawberries and some sort of floral something or another. I breathed deeper. She smelled like late summer.

"You smell amazing."

I felt her lips curl into a smile. "So do you."

She kissed me again, and I soon found her in my lap, legs on either side of me. _Oh, sweet, sweet mercy_. All I could see or hear or feel was Bella. My hands roamed up and down her sides. Her hands worked their way into my hair.

The sound of a car door broke us apart.

"Crap, it's Charlie," she whispered frantically, getting off me and smoothing out her clothes and hair.

I ran my hands through mine and adjusted myself.

"Bells? Jake?" The sound of Charlie putting away his gun reminded me to breathe.

"Hey, Dad." Her cheeks were slightly pink but she otherwise looked like nothing had happened. She hugged Charlie and then scurried off to the kitchen to check on the food.

"Hail to the Chief!" I called.

"That's Charlie to you, son."

I just saluted as he passed me on the couch, settling in his recliner.

"What have you two been up to?"

"Watching _Raiders of the Lost Ark_, then _Sense and Sensibility_."

Charlie chuckled. "My girl put you up to the last one?"

Bella peeked her head around the corner. "Nope! He picked both movies."

He raised an eyebrow. "Something you're not telling us, Jacob?"

I laughed. "Straight as an arrow, O Chiefly One."

He rolled his eyes and settled in to watch the game, and I took that as my cue to go.

"I'll be back in a bit with Dad. Roast smells good, Bells!"

"Sure, sure," she called from the kitchen. "It'll be ready in about 45 minutes."

I got into my car and all I could smell was summer. I inhaled even deeper just for good measure, then backed out of the driveway.

Dad was waiting when I pulled up.

"Charlie called. Something you want to tell me?"

I stared at him, wondering what he could possibly know. "We're having roast for dinner?"

"Uh huh, sure. Now, help me get in the car."

We were pulling out of the reservation by the time I gathered the balls to ask," So, what did Charlie say?"

"Nothing much. Just that you two looked a bit nervous when he walked in."

I sighed. "We kissed. A lot. That's it."

"Bout damn time."

I just grinned and kept driving.

"So," Dad started, "she's over the Cullen kid?"

"We hadn't really talked about it."

"You might want to. Don't want to see you get hurt, son."

"She wouldn't do that," I snapped.

My hands started shaking, and Dad quickly put his hand over mine.

"Relax, son," he soothed. "I just think it would be a good idea for you to talk, that's all. Figure out where both of you stand."

I took a deep breath and nodded. "You're right. I'll talk to her after dinner."

"The Mariners are playing a pre-season game tonight. I'll distract Charlie; give you two some privacy."

I grinned. "Thanks, Dad."

Dinner was amazing. Seriously, Bella's cooking was out of this world. The pot roast literally fell apart on the fork and the potatoes and mushrooms were awesome. She even threw a loaf of French bread in the oven for us to dip in the broth. She was amazing.

I made sure to tell her, too. Of course, she blushed, throwing my usual, "Sure, sure," back at me.

_I'm totally in love with this girl._

The realization was a little startling. I'd always had a big crush on her. I mean, seriously, who wouldn't? She was gorgeous and so, so smart. Not to mention funny and a little wild. I still couldn't believe the whole craziness with the bikes. But, more than anything, everything was so easy with her. It was like breathing.

Suddenly, the prospect of talking to her about everything was daunting at best. What if this was a lot more casual to her than it was to me? I pushed that thought out of mind immediately. _She wouldn't do that to me_, I thought._ She was better than that._

Bella must have sensed my inner turmoil, because her foot softly tapped mine under the table. When I looked up from my food, she was frowning. _Are you okay?_ she mouthed.

I nodded and gave her a smile. _Just thinking_, I mouthed back.

She offered me a half-smile and returned to her her food.

I fought a sigh.

After dinner, Dad pulled Charlie in the living room, carrying on about some player that had just been signed to the Mariners, and Bella and I moved back into the kitchen. She packed away leftovers for Charlie, leaving them on the counter until they cooled, and then we started on the dishes.

She protested, trying to shoo me out of the kitchen, but I stubbornly refused. She conceded eventually, telling me I could dry while she washed.

We worked in silence for a while, both seemingly lost in our own thoughts.

Finished with the dishes, she wiped down the counters and I took a rag to the dining table.

_Why are you stalling? Just go talk to her_.

Back in the kitchen, she was drying her hands on a kitchen towel. I washed mine in the sink, then stole the towel from her. I tossed it back in her face, just for the reaction, and grinned. She swatted me on the arm with the towel, then tossed it back on the counter.

"Wanna go for a walk?" she asked, looking sweetly up at me through her eyelashes.

I nodded and followed her out of the kitchen.

"Hey, Dad?" she called to Charlie while she grabbed her coat off the rack in the hall.

"Yeah, Bells?"he hollered from the couch.

"Jake and I are going for a walk. We'll be back soon. Like an hour?"

"Sounds fine, kiddo. Just be safe."

"Will do."

"Jake?" Charlie called.

"Yes, sir?"

"Take care of my girl."

"I will."

She stared at me then, her hand on the doorknob. I stared back. Deciding something, she suddenly smiled a sweet half-smile, and then we walked out into the cool, breezy night.

* * *

><p>If nothing else good came of this night, I wouldn't have cared. The first thing she did once we were safely outside was grab my hand and lace her fingers through mine. My heart literally soared.<p>

_I should tell her._

_No, I really, really shouldn't. She'd haul ass straight for the hills._

_Still, she should no._

_She doesn't need to know. Things are perfect right now._

_Except for the fact that you're freaking out so bad you're talking to yourself._

"What's wrong, Jake?"

I looked up. We were already halfway down the block.

"What do you mean?"

She stopped and placed her hand on my cheek. "You look sad."

All of a sudden, the idea of looking into her eyes was just a little too much.

"Sorry, Bells. I've just got a lot on my mind."

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked, frowning slightly. "I mean, should I not have kissed you?"

Too much be damned. I looked her right in the eyes and shook my head fervently. "That kiss was the best moment of my entire life."

She literally flushed from head to toe. "Really?"

"Really."

"Then why so serious? I feel like doing cartwheels."

"You'll break a wrist or something."

"Probably," she replied, laughing softly. "Seriously though, what's wrong? I feel like it's wrong for me to be so happy when you look so miserable."

I placed my hand over hers, still on my cheek, and moved it to kiss her palm. I dropped it, my other hand still laced quite tightly in hers, and started walking again. We walked in silence for a while before reaching a small park.

"Want to swing for a bit?"

"Sure."

She sat down in one and I sat next to her.

After a while, I simply leaned back in mine and stared up. Moments later, I heard Bella do the same.

"It's beautiful tonight," she said.

"Yeah, it is."

And it really was. Forks was graced with a rare clear night. The moon was bright and full and we could see the stars from the small clearing the park rested in.

_Get over yourself and just tell her. Everything is perfect. Just do it._

I sat up and slid off the swing, stepping over to hers. She pulled herself into a sitting position then, not realizing just how close I was.

Terrified that she'd leave after I said what I had to say, I kissed her then. Hard and full on the mouth. I felt my feet move me even closer, and I ended up somewhere between her legs. Judging by the way her legs automatically wrapped around my waist, she didn't seem to mind.

She was so soft and warm. I wrapped my arms around her and she did the same to me. Her hands found their way under the back of my shirt, and her tiny palms pressed into the small of my back, bringing me even closer to her.

The distance from before seemed so ridiculous now. Even a few inches seemed impossible.

There was nothing gentle about the way our mouths moved against each other now. It was hard and fierce and passionate and wet and so freaking glorious.

"I love you, Bells." I heard the words fall from my lips before I even realized that I'd pulled my mouth from hers. Our foreheads were still touching.

I felt her body tense under my hands.

"I'm scared, Jake," she responded after a long moment of silence.

"Of me?" _Please say no._

"Of course."

"Why?" _I should have waited._

"I've been hurt before." She sounded like she was going to cry. My forehead still pressed to hers, I willed myself not to look at her. I didn't think I'd be able to handle the look on her face. The way her voice was starting to break was bad enough. "He - Edward messed me up really bad. I feel like I'm broken. I - I don't think I can give you everything you need just now."

"Then give me what you can when you can. I'll take what I can get from you." _A little desperate, don't you think?_

"It's not fair to you."

"Screw fair."

"Jake," she whispered. "It's not right. Sometimes I think I'm too far gone."

"That's not possible." Eyes still closed, I brushed my lips against hers. The few inches I put between our lips just after damn near killed me. It took every ounce of strength I had left just to open my eyes. Tears filled her eyes, but they had yet to fall. "Every day I spend with you, Bella, I see a difference. Every single day. You used to be broken in every way possible, save your body, which is still as beautiful as ever, by the way, even though I want to feed you an entire bucket of fried chicken sometimes. But now? You don't look anything like the sad, very broken girl that came to me with those motorcycles in her truck all those months ago. You're gorgeous, Bella, and, yeah, you're a little messed up, but who isn't? I sure as hell am. I'm sixteen and I've been taking care of my dad as long as I can remember. The only times I ever feel my age are when I'm with you. You make me feel like there's more to life than what I've always known."

I placed my palms on the side of her cheeks, now slightly wet from the few tears that had managed to escape, and kissed her again, much more softly.

"I'm in love with you, Bella Swan. I'm never apologizing for it, either. Whatever you decide, this is the most real that I've ever felt."


	5. Boyfriend Burn

After his declaration, Jake walked me home.

The great thing about him, I realized, was that he never had a single expectation. He just said what he felt and never pressured me. I think he knew I needed time to sit down, try to relax, fail and then start overthinking every single thing that had happened throughout the day.

I glanced at the clock. It was only 8:30. Bill and Jake had left shortly after we got back, and, the dishes being done already, I told Charlie goodnight and walked up the stairs to my bedroom. I leaned over to my nightstand, nearly toppling off the side of my bed, to grab my phone. Before I could talk myself out of it, I pressed firmly down on the number 7.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Angela. It's Bella."

"Oh, _hey_. How are you? Everything okay?"

"I'm good. I just need some girl time. Would you be down for a really obnoxiously girly sleepover tomorrow?"

"Absolutely," she breathed. "I'm desperate for some girl time. Ben has been driving me crazy with his fantasy baseball stuff. I need a night filled with nail polish and gossip, please."

I giggled. "I think we can manage that. Do you think Jessica would be down for it, too?"

She was silent for a moment. "She's still pretty mad at you after what happened after the movies."

"Yeah, not my finest moment."

"Still, I think this would be good for you guys. It'll clear the air."

Especially after what I've got planned. "Good. I really hope so."

"I can call her if you want."

"No, I think I should. Again, it'll clear the air."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Oh, and Angela?"

"You have any ex-boyfriends?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Do you have any photos or anything like that still?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

"Bring them."

"Um, okay. What time should I come over?"

"How does six sound?"

"Sounds good."

"Awesome, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay. Bye, Bella."

"Bye, Ang."

I pressed the end button and then allowed my thumb to hover over the 8 button for a tiny, hesitant second before pressing down firmly.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Jess. It's Bella."

Silence.

"Um, Bella Swan," I clarified.

"What do you want?"

"To apologize." Like ripping off a band-aid.

"For what?"

"For what happened at the movies. It was really stupid and reckless of me. I should never have done that. I think I was going a little crazy."

"No kidding."

"Yeah, no kidding. I also want to apologize for being a bad friend."

"I feel like I'm having some really weird hallucination."

"So do I. All the time."

"What does that mean?"

"That I've been an idiot about everything, about Edward, for far too long."

Silence.

"Jessica?"

"Still here."

"Okay."

"You actually said his name."

"Yeah."

"We've had a ban on the E-word since he left and you went all weird on us."

I didn't know what to say to that. "Thanks?"

"No problem."

"So, what's going on with you and Mike?"

"We're on again. About time, too. I was really starting to miss him."

"I'm glad. You guys are good together when you're not biting each others' heads off."

She giggled. She actually giggled. Thank God. "You're so right."

I laughed. "He's crazy about you, you know. Seriously. I can't get him to shut up about you at work."

She giggled again. "Welcome back, Bella."

"Thanks, Jess. Seriously."

"So what are you up to this weekend? I can't believe there's only a few days left of spring break. It goes way too fast."

"I know what you mean. Actually, that was part of the reason I was calling. I'm having an impromptu sleepover tomorrow. Angela has requested lots of nail polish and gossip. Would you like to come over?"

Silence.

"Um, Jessica?"

"Count me in."

"Awesome. I'm really glad," I said. And I really, really was. I felt like things were going to be a lot better. "Out of curiosity, did you have any boyfriends before Mike? The entire time I've been here, I've only seen the two of you together."

"Yeah, there was one guy. It was really bad when it was over."

"I know the feeling. Do you have any photos or anything like that?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

I giggled. "That's exactly what Angela said."

She giggled back.

"Well, bring them. I have big plans for the three of us tomorrow night. Six sound good?"

"Six sounds great."

"I'm glad. I'll see you tomorrow, Jess. Bye."

"Bye, Bella."

* * *

><p>I spent most of the next morning cleaning.<p>

Jake called around 10, wanting to hang out, but I told him that today was out.

"I'm having girl time with Jessica and Angela," I proudly proclaimed.

He laughed. "I'm glad. You seemed like you really missed them."

I sighed. "I really have. I think tonight's going to be a good thing."

"I'm happy for you, Bells."

"Thank you, Jake. That means a lot."

"Of course."

We sat in silence for awkwardly long moment.

"I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Sure thing. Pick you up at six?"

"Pick me up?"

"Yeah, pick you up. And dress nice, but nothing too fancy. I'm taking you out."

"Like a date?"

"Yeah, like a date."

My heart skipped a beat. Or twelve. "Okay."

"Okay?"

I smiled. "Yeah, _okay_."

"I'll see you at six, Bella." I could practically hear him smiling through the phone. "I can't wait."

"Me neither, Jake."

By three o'clock, the house was spotless. I even cleaned the baseboards. After baking a batch of brownies, I jumped in the shower and straightened up my bedroom.

"Hey, Dad?"

"Yeah?" he called back from downstairs.

"Angela and Jessica are coming over. We're going to have a slumber party."

Silence. "Really?"

"Yeah, Dad, really."

He bounded up the stairs. "You need me to get anything for you girls?"

I gave him a weird look.

"What? Can't a father be happy that his daughter has started acting like a normal eighteen-year-old?"

I just rolled my eyes. "How does pizza sound?"

"Sounds good. I'll call it in once they get here. What time?"

"Six."

"Uh, what about chocolate?"

"Chocolate?"

"Yeah, isn't that a big part of slumber parties?"

"Um, sure."

"Okay, I'll go get some."

"Okay... Dad, you're freaking me out."

He just laughed. "That's what I'm here for, kiddo."

"Actually, there is something you can do."

"What's that?"

"Can we have a bonfire in the backyard tonight? We'll use the pit and I promise not to accidentally catch myself on fire."

He just laughed again. "Sure, Bells. I'll set it up after we order the pizza."

* * *

><p>To say that I needed the girl time was an understatement. I had never really put much stock in the whole concept, but tonight showed me just how mistaken I had been.<p>

It also showed me how badly Jessica had the hots for Charlie. It was a little weird, but mostly funny.

Jessica and Angela arrived together exactly at six. Charlie ordered entirely too much pizza and bought us Ghirardelli chocolate.

"Your dad is the best," Jessica said in awe.

I shrugged. "I didn't even tell him what kind. I told him you guys were coming over and he took it upon himself to do all this."

Angela grinned. Jessica stared at the back of Charlie's Wranglers. I elbowed her and gave her a pointed look.

"Sorry, Bella, but that ass is totally wasted in eternal bachelordom. Seriously."

I groaned. "Angela, help me out here."

"Sorry, Bella," she said, grinning. "Jessica, as much as I agree with you, let's hold those comments for when Bella falls asleep."

"Angela!" I covered my face in my hands.

Jessica cackled with glee. "This moment just made up for all the time I was mad at you."

I rolled my eyes. "Happy to help, Jessica."

Pizza was delicious. Charlie had shelled out cash for the big place in town.

"Holy smokes, Chief Swan," Jessica moaned, mouth full of food. "This is amazing."

"Charlie is fine," he said, chuckling. "And I'm glad you like it. I figured you girls deserved a treat."

"Thanks, Dad."

"No problem, kiddo," he replied, looking out the window. "I'll be right back."

Twenty minutes later, Charlie came back inside, just as we finished cleaning up. "All ready, Bells. Just keep an eye on it, okay. If you get tired before it goes out, just come get me and I'll take care of it."

I nodded and thanked him as he sat down to finish his pizza.

Looking out the window, I saw that it was almost dark out.

"Let's get comfy and then we'll go outside."

The girls gave me puzzled looks but followed my cue anyways.

Once the door was closed, however, they rounded on me.

"What's going on, Bella?" Angela asked.

"Yeah, what's outside?" Jessica piped in.

I took a deep breath. "We're doing a boyfriend burn."

Jessica looked confused, but Angela just grinned.

"I think it's a fantastic idea," Angela said.

"What's a boyfriend burn?" Jessica asked.

"You'll see," I said, grinning. "Get into something comfy and then grab the stuff I told you to bring."

It was nearly black outside when we finally settled around the fire in the folding chairs Charlie used for camping, Jessica still confused and Angela still grinning wildly.

"I want to move on," I stated, standing up. "I'm sick of being sad and messed up all the time. I really should have just done this ages ago."

Suddenly, Jessica seemed to get everything. "Oh, I see."

"You do?"

"Hell yeah, and I think it's awesome."

I grabbed the shoebox full of photos and ticket stubs from out of my chair. I had collected them from around my room earlier in the day. He wanted me to forget about him, so I was. Once these things were gone, I'd have nothing left to remind me of him.

I took a deep breath. "What I had with Edward was way too consuming, obviously. And I think its time that I just let it all go. What we had was beautiful while it lasted, but I'm ready to let go. I need to let it all go. I need to move on."

Hastily wiping away a rogue tear, I continued. "Care to join me?"

Angela unceremoniously just tossed her box in the fire. "See ya, jerk."

I giggled. "That's it?"

"Yeah, I'm not wasting any more time or closet space on that guy. He took a while to get over, and, besides, I've moved on. This is just the icing on the cake."

Jessica hopped up with her own shoebox and chucked it into the fire. "Bye, asshole."

I clapped a hand over my mouth. "Nice, Jess."

"What? I'm with Angela on this one. Icing has never tasted so sweet."

I hesitated, the box still in my hands.

"What are you waiting for Bella?" Angela asked. "Just take the plunge."

The items in the box were all I had left of him. After this, he would be gone forever. The thought was sobering.

Bright orange ash filled the air as my box joined theirs.

"Best icing ever," I said with a smile.

We sat in the chairs and watched the fire burn.

"So, how about that chocolate?" Jessica asked.

"There's that and I've got an entire batch of brownies sitting on the stove."

"Booze?" Angela asked.

"I think there's a bottle of rum under the sink, but it's been there for ages. It's probably older than me."

"No matter," she replied. "I've got some good stuff in my car. I'll go get it."

An hour later, we were still sitting around the fire, but now slightly tipsy from whatever Angela handed us and full of chocolate.

"Best slumber party ever," Angela declared.

"Hear, hear," Jessica cheered, raising her bottle. "We should have done this ages ago."

"I agree," I said, smiling. "We really should have."

"Promise we'll keep in touch when we all leave?" Angela asked.

I stared at her and Jessica. "I promise."

The rest of the night was filled with nail polish and really great John Hughes movies.


	6. Dearest

Title is from a Buddy Holly song.

* * *

><p>Angela, Jessica and I woke early to bright sunlight and pounding headaches, but Charlie, ever the wise cop, left three bottles of water and 6 large pills on the top of my dresser.<p>

Jessica eyed the aspirin warily. "I suppose I'm never getting a piece of those Wranglers now."

Angela laughed and then immediately stopped, her hand flying to her head. "Probably not."

"There's also probably a possibility that it has to do with the fact that your his daughter's friend. And he's, like, twenty-five years older than you, Jess," I said.

"Yeah, yeah," she replied. "Oh well, I can still stare from afar. Never stopped me before."

I groaned and moved my pillow in front of my face, while Angela simply laughed again before groaning in her own misery.

"That was a lot of fun, guys," I said through the pillow. "Thanks again for coming over."

"Absolutely," Angela said.

"Of course," Jessica agreed. "But, why now?"

I blushed from head to toe, almost immediately feeling a pillow smack me on the legs. I sat up, the pillow falling from my face. Judging by the looks on their faces, I had the good sense to look guilty.

"Bella Swan! You've been holding out!" Jessica whispered furiously, pointing an accusing at me. "We shared booze, chocolate and a boyfriend roast, literally. Spill!"

I just blushed again. "Remember that trip to the beach we all took whenever I first moved here?"

They both nodded, and then Angela clapped a hand over her mouth. "I knew it!"

I stared at her incredulously. "Seriously, Ang. I haven't even told you the story yet."

"I knew it!" she squealed anyways, completely ignoring my comment. "I _knew_ he was into you. And you flirted with him like there was no tomorrow. I knew it!" She threw a fist into the air. "I knew it!"

I just giggled. "Unbelievable. I didn't even know."

"Um, _hello_?" Jessica waved her hand in the air. "Still confused over here."

Angela jumped in immediately. "Do you remember how we were all sitting around when those guys from the reservation showed up?"

Jessica thought and then nodded slowly, before comprehension dawned on her face. She turned to me. "Oh, _Bella_, he's like a little kid."

"Not anymore," I said, blushing even more furiously than before. "Believe me."

Both of them just stared at me.

"We kissed yesterday..." I stopped there, not quite sure whether I should share what he told me.

"There's more to it than that," Angela stated. Not a hint of question was in her voice. She just knew.

I sighed. "We've been hanging out for a long while now. We went cliff diving a few days ago" - _sort of_, I reasoned - "and he rebuilt these motorcycles that I had found. He taught me how to ride them - "

"That explains the cut on your forehead last month," Angela said.

I didn't know what to say. I'd had no idea that she was paying that close attention. "Yeah, I had an accident, but I'm fine. My dad doesn't know, by the way. I just told him I tripped and hit my head on the banister. Jake fixed me up."

"And the movies with Mike?" Jessica asked.

I groaned. "That was the longest night ever. I'm still mad at the both of you for not going. It was just me and the two of them. It was while you and Mike were off, so he was looking a little desperate. _So_ awkward."

She nodded. "I remember. Something about that night must have set him straight, because he's been so attentive ever since. Like he realized he never had a chance with you in the first place."

"Oh, _Jessica_ -" I started, but she just waved her hand.

"Don't worry about it. I'm not going to marry Mike. Sure, I was jealous, or whatever, but it's in the past. Just keep going."

I frowned, but continued. "Um, well, he came over for dinner last night with his dad - Billy and my dad are best friends - and we went for a walk last night. He kissed me and then - "

"Oh, Bella," Angela said again, practically on the verge of tears.

"Seriously? How on earth do you know what I'm going to say?"

"You've got the look."

"The look?" Jessica asked, then stared at me before getting a similar look on her face. "Aw, he loves you."

I blushed furiously.

"You didn't say it back?" Angela asked. I was beginning to think she was psychic. _What would Alice say?_

I shook my head. "I didn't want to say it when I still felt so messed up."

"Felt? Like, past tense?"

I thought about her words. "I have no idea. Maybe."

She just smiled. "Take your time, Bella. He's not going anywhere."

I laughed in spite of my total and complete confusion. "You got all that from one trip to the beach?"

She laughed. "Not just that. You've been becoming more like yourself for weeks. I'm happy for you."

"Thanks, Angela. And thanks so much again, Jessica, for coming. It really means a lot that you guys were willing to come over and hang. I haven't exactly been the most attentive friend lately."

Angela waved off my last statement. "Don't mention it. We all go a little nuts over guys at some point or another. Seriously."

Jessica nodded. "You should have seen me the last time Mike and I broke up. I was a wreck." I looked at her strangely. I'd always thought she was fine. "I'm just better at hiding it that you are, Bella."

Changing the subject, I offered a little more information. "We have a date set for tonight."

Angela squealed. "What are you going to wear?"

I shrugged. "I have no idea. He said something nice, but not fancy."

"Jeans and a nice, low cut sweater will do the trick," Jessica said.

"I don't think I've got a sweater like that," I said.

She just shook her head and started rummaging through her bag. "I've got something you can borrow. How do you not own a low cut sweater?"

"No idea," I said truthfully.

She tossed me a very soft, white cashmere sweater. "It's my mom's, so fork it over on Monday, please."

I saluted her and grinned. "Thanks, Jess. I appreciate it."

She just waved. "No worries. What are friends for?"

I gulped. The glint in her eye was far too wicked. "I suppose you'll be wanting details as well?"

"You supposed correctly."

Angela giggled.

* * *

><p>After a long morning in bed and receiving a stern talking to by Charlie about the consequences of drinking and how I should only do it under special circumstances like last night and how I'm never to get behind the wheel after drinking and how he'll never forget the friend of his that died in a drunk driving accident and how, after all, he is chief of police and what kind of example would that set for the community and how I'm never to do anything that would set a bad example for the younger kids in the community because of the position he held, I finally moved around and straightened up the house. Fortunately, the damage was minimal, so I spent most of the afternoon on the couch with Charlie, watching television enjoying both of our days off.<p>

At four-thirty, I hopped up off the couch to go get ready.

"Whatcha up to, Bells?" Charlie asked.

"Date with Jake."

He choked on his beer and grinned widely. "Congrats, Bells. He's a good kid. It's about time."

"You are absolutely shameless, Charlie Swan. I knew you never liked Edward."

"Sweetie, I hated Edward," he replied flatly. "He never sat right with me. Never seemed to let you make your own decisions. Jake's a good person, though. I think you kids would be good together."

I just shook my head. "Thanks, Dad. Oh, and you're a terrible actor. You and Billy gossip like old women."

"What time is he picking you up?"

"Six."

"Okay, be safe."

"When should I be home?"

He shrugged. "Not too late."

I stared. "No curfew?"

He chuckled. "I trust you both. Just be the smart daughter I know and love."

"Aye aye, Chief."

After showering and drying my hair, I slipped on the sweater Jessica lent me and pulled on a snug pair of dark-wash jeans. I frowned as I realized I had no idea what kind of shoes to wear. Thinking quickly, I snapped a picture with my cell phone and forwarded it to Jessica, asking her opinion.

Less than a minute later, she replied, "You're welcome :) Flat brown boots. Jeans tucked in. See you Monday!"

I followed her instructions and was pleased with the results. Nice and simple.

Deciding to go the extra mile, I swiped on a little bit of brown eyeliner and a thick coat of mascara before swapping out my purses. I had a small brown shoulder bag that was perfect. Just as I zipped everything up, the doorbell rang.

My alarm clock read 5:59. I felt myself smile so hard it nearly hurt.

"Bella! Jake's here," Charlie called from downstairs.

"Coming!"

Checking my reflection in the mirror, I took a deep breath and went downstairs.

As always, Jake looked great. His long hair was pulled back but still loose, and he had donned a pair of dark wash jeans, a black pair of boots and a black button down.

"Hey," I breathed.

He smiled. "You look great, Bells."

"Thanks."

Charlie just shook his head. "Be safe, kids. Not too late."

"Sure thing, Chief."

"Charlie."

"No, I'm Jake, remember?"

"Just go, you little smartass," Charlie replied before turning to me. "Have fun, Bells."

"Will do."

* * *

><p>Any doubts that I'd had about dating Jake seemed to dissipate within the first five minutes.<p>

He walked me to the car, even going so far as to open my door for me. _Definitely a step above normal Jacob behavior._ I gave him an odd look.

"This _is_ a date, Bella," he reminded me.

I just smiled.

When he turned on the car, he buckled himself in and turned to me. "So, I may have lied earlier."

"What?"

"Lied is a bit extreme. Inaccurate is better. I said you looked great. I'm changing my statement: You look absolutely gorgeous."

I blushed from head to toe. "Thank you."

"Ah, so she _can_ take a compliment. Good, because here's another: You need to wear that sweater more. A lot more."

_Sorry, Jessica_.

I leaned over the center console and kissed him full on the mouth.

"So where are we going?"

"Well, _dearest_," he started with a smirk. "Just kidding, Bells. We are going on a date. A real one. An awesome one."

"You're not going to tell me?"

"Nope," he replied, backing out of the driveway. "I like to leave you in suspense, so humor me."

"You know, I really don't like surprises."

"I know you don't, but this is one of those things that you'll appreciate more when you see it. That, and I really want to see your reaction."

"Fine. Just this once though."

"Sure, sure."

"Jacob!"

He laughed and grabbed my hand, lacing his fingers through mine and kissing me softly on the knuckle. "This will be fun, Bella. Just relax. I've got you."

And I knew that he did. So, I settled back in my seat and listened to the music he left on from his way over to my house. It was _City and Colour_ again.

"This really is nice music, you know."

"Open the glove box."

Letting go of his hand, I leaned forward and opened the compartment, my eyes immediately landing on a white jewel case with my name carefully written on it in permanent ink.

"What's this?"

"Open it."

I did. "Really?"

"You said you liked their music. I thought you might like a copy."

"So, now you're springing gifts and surprises on me? What is the world coming to?"

"Something great," he said softly and weaved his fingers through mine once more.

I stared out the front windshield, silent.

Things were changing. I glanced briefly at our woven hands before staring straight ahead once more. They really, really were, and I realized that I was okay with it.

I squeezed his hand with mine.


	7. Holding her hand

... was like heaven, soft and warm.

And that _sweater_... I never thought a girl in a sweater could drive me crazy. _Holy smokes._ I was so wrong.

I knew she'd be afraid of the surprise thing, but I also knew that it would be worth it. Mostly because I'd had this date planned since the day she drove up with those motorcycles. The day she made an effort, albeit a small one. The day I knew I might, just maybe, someday stand a chance.

To say I was nervous was a giant understatement. She never responded to my L-Bomb the other night, or at least not in the way that I'd hoped. But, then again, she didn't start hauling it towards the forest either. And she was with me tonight. I chose to take that as a good omen.

I chanced a glance in her direction.

She was staring out the window, and a small smile was playing at the edge of her mouth.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Just that you were right."

"About?"

"About things going someplace great."

Gently squeezing her fingers in mine, I replied, "I don't think being right has ever made me so happy."

I looked back over at her just in time to see her blush. _Gorgeous._

The rest of the drive was filled with silence, save the soft music playing from the stereo.

I pulled up to the parking area near the cliffs and gave her a smile. "Ready?"

"Absolutely."

I let go of her hand long enough to get out and walk around to her side. I took her hand in mind to help her out of the car, and then I held on for dear life, grinning like an idiot.

"Are you going to tell me where we're going?"

I popped the trunk and grabbed the backpack I'd packed earlier. "We're going on a picnic."

"I can handle that."

"Good, because I slaved over this for a whole ten minutes."

She giggled. "I feel so special."

"You should. This is only part one."

She visibly gulped. "Part one? As in there's more than one?"

"Yup. There are a few things happening tonight. Have a little faith in me."

"Jacob - "

"I want to show you what dating me is like," I said, placing a finger over her lips. "I promise that I won't spoil you, because I know you don't like that; but, I will try my damnedest to sweep you off your feet. That's a promise."

She stared at me before raising her empty hand to my cheek and pulling my face down to hers for a searing kiss. It was warm and fierce, tinged with a little bit of reckless fear. She was throwing herself into this, fears and all. If possible, I think I began to love her even more in that moment.

Unfortunately, time was not on our side, so I pulled away. "C'mon, let's go."

She glanced around briefly. "Why here, Jake?"

"Because it's a beautiful spot and I'd rather make something good of it. I don't want my biggest memory of this place to be what it was. I'd rather it be my first date with you. Or part one of it anyways."

She nodded. "Makes sense. You're pretty smart, Jake."

"I know."

She laughed and leaned into me with her shoulder, trying to push me off balance a little. "Smart ass."

"My, my, Miss Swan, what a mouth you have."

"Oh, hush. I'm just stating facts. You're too smart for your own good."

"I could say the same thing about you."

"How so?"

I thought about it. "I have no idea. You're just smart. Smarter than anyone else I know. Then again, you did jump off a cliff, so I might have to deduct a few points from your IQ."

"So, now I'm twelve _and_ my IQ is dropping?"

"Yup, and I'm 25 with an IQ that makes rocket scientists green with envy."

"You're just shameless."

"Only with you." I squeezed her hand in mine.

She squeezed back.

When we neared the cliffs, I dropped her hand and set the backpack on the ground, pulling out the two thin blankets that I had packed for us. I laid one out on the ground for us to lay on, leaving the other one folded up on the edge of it. Then, I grabbed the sandwiches and chips that I had packed, along with the brownies Sue Clearwater had sent over once Dad told her about my date. I was irritated with them at first, but then I realized that Bella would probably love them, so in the backpack they went. I also grabbed two of the four water bottles that I'd packed and set them next to our food.

"This is quite a spread."

My heart swelled a little as she settled down onto the blanket. "Thanks. Sue Clearwater made the brownies."

"I think I remember her. She had two kids right?"

I nodded, mouth full of sandwich, and swallowed. "Two. Seth is a little younger than me, and Leah is your age, I think."

"That was nice of her," she said, and took a bite out of her sandwich.

"I hope peanut butter and jelly is okay."

She swallowed. "It's delicious. Um, Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"Who all knows what we're up to tonight?"

I shrugged. "A few people. My dad and Sue, of course, and then Quil. That's about it. Why?"

"I don't know. Just curious, I guess."

"Okay, who all did you tell?"

"My dad, and then Jessica and Angela."

She actually told her friends she'd be going out with me tonight. "You told your friends we were going on a date?"

"You told yours," she replied, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. _I'm on a date with Bella Swan, so, yeah, I damn near shouted it from the rooftops._

"Of course I did. It's you. I just didn't think you'd tell them about me."

"Why?" she asked, chewing thoughtfully.

"I don't know. Thought you might want to keep it to yourself."

"God, Jacob. No... I don't think your someone to hide from my friends. You've been my best friend all these months. Why would I hide you from them?"

"I have no idea. I just - You're just - I don't know." I ran my fingers through my hair, frustrated. "You're older" - she made a face - "and completely gorgeous. You could have any guy you wanted, and you seem to have chosen me. I'm thankful as hell, but I honestly have no idea what changed."

"I don't know either," she said honestly. "I guess I did. I accepted a lot of things, and I think that doing so allowed me to let go of Edward. Once I realized he wasn't coming back, I - I -" she sighed "- I guess I saw what was right in front of me this whole time. You."

I leaned forward and brushed her hair from her face. "I'm not going anywhere, Bella. I swear it."

"I know, Jake. I know." She kissed me softly, tenderly. I think my heart broke in a thousand and a half pieces right then. Literally.

I pulled away, and we continued eating our dinner in silence, simply enjoying each others' company. When we finished, the sun was beginning to set.

"How beautiful, Jake. Is this the reason you brought me here?"

I nodded and moved to sit behind her, legs on either side of hers, wrapping my arms around her. "Like I said, I wanted to remember something good about this place. This is something I won't forget."

She leaned back and rested her head on my shoulder. "Same here."

* * *

><p>Part two of the date was underway and I was still nervous as hell.<p>

After watching the sun set over the Pacific Ocean, we packed up and walked back to the car. At this point, it was already eight o'clock. I pushed the Rabbit as fast as I could. I didn't want to drop her off too late and then be in trouble with both the Chief and my dad. Not the way to start things at all.

I drove her back to my house, where Quil had finished setting things up for me after I left. After pulling into the drive and throwing the Rabbit in park, I opened her door for her again and grabbed the lantern off the porch.

"Where are we going, Jake?"

"Part two."

She groaned.

"Faith, Bells."

She giggled. Much better.

When we walked around to the side of the barn, she let out the tiniest of gasps. "Oh, _Jake_."

Quil and I spent the better part of the afternoon prepping the side of the barn, where we usually worked on the cars, to be a make-shift movie theater. Dad had an old projector stored in the barn, and we cleaned it up and borrowed an old reel from our friend at the only movie theater on the rez, a tiny three-screen place that only showed movies a few weeks after they had been released. The rest of the time, they showed old, black and white films

I had her sit down on the flannel side of a sleeping bag that Quil must have laid out right before he left, before going into the barn to pop the popcorn, which I had already set up in the microwave before I left. Grabbing two cans of root beer in one hand and the bowl of popcorn in the other, I went back outside to join her.

"What are we watching?"

"You'll see," I answered with a grin.

"Another surprise?"

"Yup, but you'll like this one. I'm sure of it. Remember what I said about the sweeping?"

"Sure, sure."

I settled behind her, much like I had on the cliff for the sunset, and wrapped my left arm around her waist, right hand going for the popcorn.

"You better not get that in my hair," she teased.

"I wouldn't dream of it. It's too pretty."

"You think so?"

"I know so. Now, shush. It's starting, and this is one of my favorites, believe it or not."

When the title appeared, she whispered, "Oh, I love this movie."

Something about Humphrey Bogart always sat right with me, especially in this movie. As Rick, he was just so cool and didn't give a shit about anybody, save him and his girl, but he still did the right thing in the end, quite selflessly, too. It was awesome. Not to mention, Bella seemed to be really into the old movies, so I figured _Casablanca_ would be a hit with her.

I just didn't think she'd cry. _Shit_.

"Bells? You okay?"

She sniffed. "I'm fine. This movie's just so beautiful."

I chuckled. "Aw, Bells. I didn't mean to make you cry. C'mon, Bogart's a badass."

She laughed, wiping her eyes and watching Rick and Louis walk off and fade to black. "He is. It's just sad, that's all."

"Yeah, it is, but think about it this way: would you really have wanted him to make her stay?"

She thought about it for a moment. "No, I guess not. She had to be somewhere else. He would have been holding her and Lazlo back."

"Exactly. I think him letting her go and do her thing is his shining moment."

She turned around, still sitting between my legs, and kissed me fiercely. Her hands wound their way into my hair, and mine found their way around her small frame, pulling her close. Though the night was cold, we weren't. Things were hot and heavy and a little sweaty, and I loved it. I loved kissing her, especially like this. We kissed and kissed, not bothering with anything else in the world for that long, hot moment.

Quickly, things began to progress. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I'd see Bella rise to her knees long enough to straddle my lap. Nor did I think I'd ever feel her hands rise up the front of my shirt, feeling her way across my stomach and chest. Or the way she'd moan a little bit into my mouth when my hands trailed down the sides of her stomach and then up the back of her sweater before trailing back down and settling on her ass. Or how cool and sweet her tongue tasted when it caressed mine, ever so timidly.

What I did dream of was the sight of the blush on her cheeks when we broke apart, trying to catch our breath. I just never thought I'd get to see it.

"Holy shit."

She giggled, a little breathless. "No kidding. _Wow_. Jacob Black, I had no idea - Just - _Wow_."

I couldn't help myself. I kissed her again, my tongue tracing the outside of her lips. She moaned again, and I felt my resolve crumble. It was literally like heaven. Had I died in that moment, I wasn't sure I'd know the difference.

Leaning back, I pulled her down with me, tracing her bare spine with my fingertips. She moaned again. When my hands ghosted the edge of her bra, she stilled.

_Shit_.

She sat up, looking at me long and hard. _Shit, shit, shit._

Then she did the unthinkable and lifted her sweater over her head, blushing furiously as she did so. Her skin looked so soft and creamy, like porcelain almost, and she had a body that I couldn't have dreamed up if I tried. The sight of her in that ivory-colored bra and those snug, snug, snug jeans and boots was going to be supplying my brain with so many fantasies from now till kingdom come.

When her fingers began working the buttons of my shirt, something clicked.

"Bells? You sure?"

She nodded and continued unbuttoning. The feeling of her nearly bare torso on my chest was out of this world. She felt warm and suddenly so did I.

Not that I cared.

I had the girl that I had fantasized about for as long as I could remember straddling my lap, and she was half-naked, or close to it. A train could have ran through my house, and I doubt I would have noticed. Maybe a little, but I probably wouldn't have moved.

We kissed some more - a lot more - and our hands explored each other. I rolled her onto her back, kissing her hard on the mouth before trailing open-mouthed kisses along her neck and shoulder. I didn't dare go lower, unless she guided me there herself.

Unfortunately, her phone beeped then, loudly, and she sighed against my lips. "I'll bet that's Charlie."

"Probably, so you should really ignore it." I kissed her soundly, hoping she would. And she forgot about it for about a minute before she giggled and rested her weight on her left arm, searching over my head in her purse for her phone with her right.

She sound of her sigh as she clicked around on her phone confirmed my fears.

"It's almost midnight. I guess he wasn't as chill about us hanging out as he thought he was."

"Can't say I blame him," I replied, gesturing at our current state of dress.

She giggled and threw it back in her purse before kissing me again. "I set my alarm for five minutes from now. Charlie can wait at least that long."

I pulled her close, reveling in the feel of her body against mine, not knowing when I'd get to feel it again.

Things grew heated again within moments, neither of us wanting the night to end. When she ground herself against me during one particularly fierce moment, I heard myself groan, and my hands flew to her hips, guiding her as she did it again.

And then her alarm went off.

"Oh, _Jake_."

"I know." And I really did.

Nevertheless, we got up, and I adjusted myself, not so discreetly, much to her amusement.

"It's your fault," I reminded her. That shut her up and she flushed red all over her face and neck. I just grinned. "Not that I'm complaining."

The drive to her house went too quickly, even though I managed to drive five below the speed limit the whole way.

When I kissed her goodnight, she was more reluctant than ever, but went inside anyways.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" she asked, looking hopeful.

"I've got a few things to do, but I'd love to hang with you in the afternoon."

"Okay, I think I can wait that long. Not that I want to."

"I know what you mean," I whispered, kissing her softly. "I love you."

She sighed. "I think I'm falling in love with you, too."

And I lived on that thought the whole way home. Then, everything changed.


End file.
